Lost In The Fog

A Poem About Wandering

I am not merry today.
Made in god’s image am I?
An image of form and substance
That reflects light to be seen
By all who comprehend it?
If only to be seen and
Receive attention was
Enough.

I could not be merry today,
With the lazy grey light slinking
Through the cracks in the blinds
Bathing my existence in a putrid, 
Lifeless and faded version
Of the reality I am expected
To perpetuate enthusiastically
While I’m here.

I doubt I will be merry today.
Unable to wrap my arms around my creator
I blindly flail in the empty fog that isolates
Me from the universe, and my nature
Leaves me edgy and alone
Unwilling to cry out for guidance
Because I know this fog is too expansive
For me to be heard.

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It’s hopeless and futile to think, and
While my energy wains and my will retreats
To safer places of less expectation,
I cannot help but hate the younger me
For being so arrogantly naive as to
Imagine this world would be as easy
And effortless to conquer as
I imagined as a child. 

To be merry is no longer my ambition.
I simply wish to be ok.
To be fine, satisfactory, prepared to handle
The problems that may arise.  
And yet here I wander through my fog
Lonely and tired, wishing nothing more
Than to curl up into a self comforting ball 
And fade back into the black
of nonexistence. 

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© 2025 Sebastian Arends | Sincerely Seb. All Rights Reserved

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