23 Comments
User's avatar
Hina Gondal's avatar

You are talented Seb 🫶

Sincerely Seb's avatar

Thank you. 🫣

Priya Hinduja's avatar

Very creative, especially the ending! Loved the use of full stops at the end.

Sincerely Seb's avatar

Thank you!

Monica A Leyva's avatar

Seb, This is brilliantly constructed.

The pacing mirrors the fall so effectively that I found myself unconsciously reading faster as the ground approached. Then that final line completely reframes everything that came before.

The emotional weight isn't just the physical danger—it's the father's impossible choice and what he believes will be his children's final memory of him. That makes the ending land even harder.

Sincerely Seb's avatar

Thank you so much. I’m glad it hit the mark!

Gathering the Pieces of Me's avatar

Love this. Thank you for introducing me to the Drabble. Will definitely use in future. 🥰🥰🥰

Sincerely Seb's avatar

I’m so glad to hear it! Please let me know when you do, I would love to read it.

Gathering the Pieces of Me's avatar

Will do. 🥰

Veritas In Verse's avatar

So very good! Seb this was a pleasure to read and to feel the sensation.... of . . . . . . Falling! Thank you for such an evocative piece.

Sincerely Seb's avatar

Thank you for reading and sharing!

Veritas In Verse's avatar

Of course!

Ann's avatar

That's good!!

Sincerely Seb's avatar

Thank you, and thank you for reading!

Ibtesam's avatar

The ending was unexpected and powerful. I liked how the formatting slowed the moment down and built suspense, that really made me feel the fear and uncertainty of the situation. Well written

Sincerely Seb's avatar

Thank you! I’m glad the formatting worked!

Adrien Saell's avatar

What struck me is that the story isn't really about falling. It's about expectation. We often imagine the worst moment as the impact, but psychologically the longest suffering happens beforehand, while the mind races through imagined futures that haven't happened yet. Sometimes the thing we survive isn't the fall—it is the terror of believing we already know how it ends.

Sincerely Seb's avatar

I’m glad to hear that! Aye, the imagination is a powerful thing. So often we sacrifice the present moment to suffer from imagined futures that never arrive. Thank you for reading.

Siri's avatar

And I here I was thinking chickens can't fly

James (HVR)'s avatar

Air Force One!

Fragments and the Dark's avatar

This was a great read, Seb! 🥰 The implications at the end with that small sentence: „I‘m alive“ what will happen now and how does his life go on! 😱🤯

Sincerely Seb's avatar

Thank you! Yeah this was a wild one. I’m glad you enjoyed it!